In remembrance of Christine Joy Schouten

I knew Chris as the wife of Pastor Luke. There’s a lot I have to say about remembering her. Notably: she carried my son out to “show me” before he…

I knew Chris as the wife of Pastor Luke.

There’s a lot I have to say about remembering her. Notably: she carried my son out to “show me” before he was sent off to Arkansas. That was on December 23rd, 2025 and frankly I’m not sure why she handed Aaron a white teddy bear and told me that “my son was going to live a good life”. It was all quite surreal in the moment and I honestly looked at Aaron ( Jr ) and believed he was an animatronic set up as a joke by the Church to achieve some sort of higher purpose whilst my post-partum recovery took place. Things quickly snowballed out of control when Pastor Luke found out Whitney was not going to return our child and that she had hired an attorney to make things legal and so forth. I, myself am still in pain from my 3rd Caesarian and am in shock at the events which have unfolded.

https://www.bosmarenkes.com/obituaries/Christine-Joy-Schouten?obId=48766904

Despite all that, I know that Chris was a mom, a human being and a highly tortured soul. I think that she had many demons and many of them likely stemming from a troubled youth and the pressures of living a life in Church as the Pastor’s wife. I would see her often walking to Church by herself on Sunday and catch her eye. She often said she had something for me which turned out to be some kind of meaningful object albeit different. I think she enjoyed both the status of her role in Church but regularly misled by her past as well as her peers. On the day of sermon after her passing, I was banned from Church by Darlene’s husband. He literally ran after me and confused my path as I actually had no intention of attending sermon in the first place although I found that the father of my 3rd child did despite having told me earlier that Sunday he as going to spend the day by himself.

I find meaning in the timing and circumstances of Chris’ passing. I want to know more about how she grew up, what kind of mom she felt like she was and what kinds of goals and ambitions she had on a day-to-day life. I know that she was a wonderful cook and that she loved playing with dice. She shared her gigantic dice collection after a dinner the Pastor invited me to. I was impressed by the laidback nature and neatness of the Pastor’s home. I still wonder how Chris and the women spent time together in camaraderie attending group dinners together. I know she had the best chocolates. She shared a bag of Fannie May smores chocolates once with me when we went to a bonfire hosted by other members of the Women’s group.

Despite very detailed memories of interactions with Chris, I kept a distance from her and all the ladies. They were very curious about my multiple trips to the mental health hospitals, jail and the nature of being banned “trespassed” from various places like HR Block and the Library but I think she always assumed I was an engineer first and would often show appreciation for tidbits of engineering spark I shared very freely at the coffee tables.

I knew that did not want to get to know me but that I had judgments and curiosity towards them. One time, Chris showed me her tattoo and I had trouble reading it upside down so I stared until I could make out the words: “He is stronger than I”. I couldn’t stop thinking about that impression for months.

In a way, Chris’ mysterious presence is what made me want to attend events surprising sermon in the first place. Now that she is gone, I will be left to my own imagination to understand what kind of woman she was and how we could be walking non-intersecting paths. I will never know what she thought she was doing with my baby and I know I will never get the crisp answers I am looking for for what drove her to have a heart attack whilst speaking with her daughter on the phone.

Simply put: it is too late. I think she passed too soon and if there is any glimmer of hope which can accompany her passing it is that I will be able to receive back my child and ponder on why Chris and her Church participated in a friendship with me that was wordless yet ever so meaningful.

8:11pm June 23rd, 2026

Dr. Grace Woo ( PhD )

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